In Truck-Driver's Heaven:

there are always pens and sunglasses close to hand,

your coffee is in a bottomless cup, just right, and always ready to drink,

there is no problem with cholesterol,

the girls are actually disappointed if you don't whistle,

other road-users will toot thank-you, and wave when you let them by,

the cops also wave, and confer on you right-of way,

there are no tailgaters, and idiots cannot get a licence,

there is basic maintenance, but no punctures,

tyres never wear, and you never have to change a wheel,

windscreens need cleaning, but the sun never gets right in your eyes,

freight is always well-packed, organised, properly marked, and with useful paperwork,

trolleys, ropes, tie-downs, chains, tarps, nets, gloves, and other favourite tools never want to leave you,

there is night work, but no time constraints, and sleep time is mandatory,

customers smile, are well-organised, and never keep you waiting,

bosses and proprietors are actually interested in your professional opinion,

architects, urban and rural planners, plus highway engineers, have all done time as truckers’ offsiders,

loading bays are always off-road, spacious, safe, deck-high, with checkers and helpers ready,

there will always be secure parking, comfortable smoko rooms, and handy toilets,

there are no bad backs, tired eyes, irritable kidneys, or unhappy marriages,

there is never a need to push the limits, and you always cruise on the sweet spot,

your wits are saved for driving, and not wasted on worrying.

In fact, you really do get to enjoy your work....

All things considered, not too much to ask?    

A Baker's Dozen of Important International Road Rules

Keep to the correct side of the road

Read the road signs, not the billboards

Drive to conditions on any road, anywhere, anytime, in any weather

Avoid driving when tired, or when in indifferent health

Be careful where and how you park, especially in emergencies

When in doubt, slow down, and also watch your rear vision mirror

Stay off crowded freeways in foggy conditions

Do not tailgate, and do let tailgaters pass you ASAP

Keep your cool, do not let the idiots rattle you 

Never entirely trust blinkers, even your own

Never entirely trust an intersection, even when controlled

Do not drink, take drugs and/or use handheld phones when driving

Never crowd a learner driver or an older driver, think what it was like for you, and also how it will be...

The One Overall Road Safety Rule is to take nothing for granted, and that includes regarding all other road users, and their probable skills, motives, moods, health, education, ancestry, etc., with a healthy suspicion, without exception.  Also, always check over the vehicle you are driving, and do keep your own road skills and attitudes under constant review.

Free PDF version of Road Rules, & a 32pp. booklet, A Beginner Transport/Truck Driver's Factfile updated 10.12.04, are both available at the Home Page: 

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